... I'm confused.
I have so many different ideas and thoughts and goals and dreams that I dont really know what I want to acheive first. And because of that I flit back and forth dabling in a bit of each and everything, but never quite making an indent in any of the things I want to achieve.
What I have come to realise is. I am not the only one like this. It is, from what I can tell, pretty darn normal. I've never really known what I want to do, and I'm now 30. plodding along in an office job, without the confidence to get off the treadmill and head towards, or even discover what I really want to do. But I know that I do not feel fulfilled with how things are at the moment. I need to find a way to balance paying the bills with finding out/doing what I really want.
Its hard. And I guess thats really why I started this blog. to try and gain some focus, some direction.
As always, my brain flits from one idea/notion to another. I think I need to break things down, not let so many things take over my life and thoughts.
These things I know I want... I know I want to lose weight and be healthier... but this is not the be all and end all. so while I need to concentrate on it. I dont need it to take over. I just needs to become a normal part of my daily routine.
I know I want to 'sort out' our home and garden. and I do love interior design. I feel actual joy when I walk into a beautiful room, read an interior design magazine or see some beautiful architcture. But instead of thinking 'we need to do the whole house!!. I just need to concentrate on one room at a time. enjoy the process. Not treat it like a chore.
and finally, I know I want to have more time to do the things I love. I love looking at fashion. I might not be the most stylish person on the planet, I am often late in discovering new trends, or I decide I love them long after everyone else has 'been there done that' Who cares! It makes me happy. I love photography. I need to find the confidence to get back out and taking photographs again. and I love learning. My Saturdays are going to be dedicated to doing things I love. Darren is out most of the day at work & football. so this is the time I shall use to study, photograph and generally just take some time to spend on my 'hobbies'
I hope this makes some sense, I'm going to put real effort into being less erratic with my blogging, and the things I blog about! :) I also hope that you'll all bear with me and continue on this journey with me.
and if your in a similar place to me. Let me know. we could perhaps help each other along!
Hope your all having wonderful weekends.
Love from a confused (but soon to be focussed) lady! x